I have been single for a while now. Years, to be precise.
No, he doesn’t count. And, I’m not sure I want to end this status soon, especially after trying out the incredibly complicated modern-day dating scene. It’s a back and forth of dishonesty, almost zero effort, ghosting, ego clashes, poor communication, side dishes, and other unpleasant stuff. It inclines me to delight in and cherish the single life more.
The thing I dislike most about announcing my spinster status is the dejected looks it receives. People snub you and look at you like you’re some reject. It’s met with, “Should I hook you up? Don’t worry. You’ll meet someone soon. Maybe you’re too picky. There must be something wrong with you. Your biological clock is ticking.” Among other painfully awkward statements.
One that irks me the most is that I’m single because I’m too picky. But c’mon, if you’re meant to meet this person in your 20’s, or 30’s, which God forbid, that’s already too old, and then probably live up until you’re 70 or 80, this means that you’re selecting someone who you’ll spend a significant portion of your adult life with. So hell, yes, I will be picky about a life partner. Of course, reasonably because no one is perfect, but you have to have some uncompromisable key metrics that compliment your values.
The question, though, why should having a partner define who you are? Why can’t you be complete, and dare I say, a single happy person? In a world where lots of unconventional concepts and ideologies permeate and get accepted into society, it’s a shame that the happily single life isn’t easily one of them.
Are you single? Here are some of the aspects that I love about being single and you should, too.
1. You Can Focus On Yourself
A relationship involves more than one person meaning that focus isn’t solely on yourself but the other person as well. Cliché as it is, being single offers you the chance to commit to yourself. It may sound selfish, but ideally, it affords you the prospect to work on yourself, your insecurities and interests, grow, and develop yourself more. When viewed positively, the single status can be a transformative process that steers you to self-love, awareness, and actualization.
2. You Become Self-Reliant
Relationships can create codependency. You tend to depend on your partner for various kinds of support, from affection, approval, to happiness. Whether single by choice or not, you tend to rely on yourself. While it’s great to have someone you can count on, self-reliance is a habit that everyone should cultivate. It’s much more enriching not only to yourself but to everyone in your life because you’ll have more to give. You become your source of validation thus able to share and give more to others including a future partner.
3. You Have Freedom
If there’s a significant gift that being single offers, it’s sweet freedom, the freedom of choice and variety. All your decisions center on you. You get the freedom to meet new people, explore new interests and be spontaneous. It’s the perfect opportunity to run with anything you’d like. And what’s more, no one is keeping tabs on you. There are no set boundaries except yours. You don’t need to check in with anyone.
4. You Have Less Pressure
Who are we kidding; being in a relationship can be a lot of pressure. Pressure to be at your best even when you don’t feel like it. Pressure to hang out with your partner’s friends and family. Pressure to change who you are. Most times, people do a lot of things for the mere benefit of their partner. There’s none of that when you’re single. If you don’t see the need to do it, you just don’t do it, and there’s no one to convince or manipulate you into thinking otherwise.
5. You Avoid Drama
Relationships are hard work. They are full of ups and downs with a fair share of drama from insecurities, cheating, to jealousy, which may bring out the worst parts of yourself even when you mean well. The single life, in this case, is particularly appealing because you don’t deal with the stress or emotional rollercoasters that relationships bring. You’re at a stalwart peace both mentally and physically from power plays and intellectual struggles.
6. You Save Money
Relationships can be pricey. You spend cash on dates, presents, and vacations with and on your partner. When you’re living single, the only one you spend money on is yourself. You have control over how much or how little you spend, therefore, you save more when you want to.
Don’t get it wrong. Healthy relationships are beautiful. Being in love is one of my favorite feelings. It makes me feel alive, and I’m a little envious of anyone who has indeed found it. However, being single has abundant perks and can be equally or even more fulfilling. It offers you the chance to work on yourself, both physically and mentally. You save tons of cash and get to depend on yourself, and you’re always free, to be yourself and to indulge in varied interests. So let go of those checklists, societal pressures, and expectations and embrace your single life to its fullest. Be a happy single.